For the past three weeks, I have been reading Essential Zen Habits by Leo Babatua for assistance with learning a method to change or add a new habit. Habit change is often a presenting issue for many of my clients, and I thought it could be beneficial to go through the process myself, as I too have had trouble with shifting habits. I chose to add the new habit of a 15 minute meditation to my daily routine.
Commitment to something larger then oneself is a major component of habit change, according to Babatua. This has been my own experience, and I have heard from many of my clients that it is "hard to do something just for myself". Although one hopes to be compassionate and loving toward themselves, it is not always easy and often seems "selfish". Loving and treating oneself well is a skill that for many needs to be cultivated. Even in my own efforts to implement meditation in a daily practice, I found a lot of self criticism coming up in me.
For instance, one of the suggested techniques in Essential Zen Habits is to create a blog as a means to help hold yourself accountable to your effort . I had just started this website/blog, so it seemed like a perfect opportunity to try this technique. Yet, each time I thought of posting, I became very fearful and abandoned my intention.
Interestingly enough, through using the mindfulness practice I became aware of my inner monologue around posting, which was incredibly critical! "You aren't the best writer" and "It will be hard to communicate what you need to say" or "Others will not understand what you mean and maybe will take offense; better wait until you have more time to think this through". This "childish mind" as Babatua terms it, "always tries to run away from discomfort". Yet, by sitting through the discomfort and just by starting to write the first sentence allowed me to make this post today.
I am not the best writer, and I hope that this post does not offend anyone, but I also do not want to stop trying just because of my fears. My intention in writing this post is to share a great resource to readers, but also to strengthen my own habits that I wish to foster. Hopefully that intention was communicated in this post.
Thanks for reading!
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.- Ralph Waldo Emerson